Gouge Away's "Dallas": A Journey Through Darkness and the Glimmer of Hope
Gouge Away has always cut straight to the bone with their music, but "Dallas," from their upcoming album Deep Sage, might be their most vulnerable work yet. On the surface, it's a sprawling six-minute epic that shifts between crushing intensity and ethereal moments of introspection. But at its core, "Dallas" is a raw and achingly honest exploration of hitting rock bottom, with disassociation taking center stage against a backdrop of self-destructive urges.
The song isn't the easiest to listen to, but there's an undeniable power in its truth and the band presents this in such a clean way in comparison to their harder songs that it's easy to find comfort in this.
Gouge Away paints a visceral picture of mental anguish – lines like "brain's evaporation" and "thighs slow to separate from the bone" capture with painful authenticity how depression can hold you captive both mentally and physically. Even the relentless repetition of "absent" is effective, creating this overwhelming sense of numbness and disconnect.
The song Dallas is split into multiple actions that build up to this soft and raw section but it’s handled so well by Gouge Away by this washed-out fuzzy grunge tone that’s carrying these soft vocals talking about being absent.
Listen to Dallas by Gouge Away
Into the Abyss and Back:
Analyzing the Lyricsl Meaning of Gouge Away Dallas
Christina Michelle's lyrics unveil a struggle on two fronts: the desire to simply cease existing, countered by the gut-wrenching realization that dying would bring unimaginable pain to loved ones. Here's a breakdown of some of the most resonant lines:
"Swaying like there's no ceiling, and like fingertips aren't stuck... I feel so Absent": Dissociation is a recurring theme, this feeling of being untethered and drifting further and further away from oneself.
"What I'd give to help, to make you understand": There's immense isolation in battling something so invisible, an understandable despair in trying to bridge the gap of experience for those who want to help.
"Suddenly learned that dying was the cruelest thing...": In moments of deepest darkness, this turning point is everything. Suddenly there's a thread of connection to the outside world, the beginning of a reason to keep fighting.
The beauty of "Dallas" lies in its honesty. It isn't a triumphant tale of overcoming struggle – it's a testament to the ongoing battle with your own mind. However, even in the darkness, there's a flicker of awareness, a willingness to try again. While deeply personal, it resonates because it reflects an experience so many understand, giving voice to some of our darkest and most unspoken feelings.
What did Christina say about Dallas?
Here’s what Christina had to say about the song in an instagram post “ i can not hear or even think about dallas without being sucked into the past. i remember the day perfectly when we were sitting at soundcheck in dallas, tx on tour with jeromes dream & soul glo in 2019. the guys came up with the first demo/jam of what this song would become years later. every phone recording to follow was named “dallas” “dallas 2.0” and so on.
i remember being depressed as hell, starting to put these lyrics together in the van on a drive through the south. i remember drinking or taking valium to stop my thoughts so i could fall asleep in various hotels for years. self harming, and confessing these things to my mom & tommy after acting recklessly, causing them to ask. & then the conversations to follow realizing that i was hurting more than just myself.
lots of people have stories like this. i’m not special for it. it’s just weird to feel like for years i put so much work into changing things around. things aren’t perfect, but the good days outnumber the bad which is a huge improvement from feeling like my story was just that i was going to live & die a broken messed up shell of a person. i saw myself as a gray, lifeless, miserable girl. it’s weird. it’s weird to have loved this song for so long just to put it out into the world to be judged.
i wouldn’t change it though. i’m happy to have learning experiences. to have people all around me to look up to. the last few years, getting to tour with @bandofnothing & learn even more about myself & who i could be.
this song has morphed into so many different versions. none that totally felt like us until literally the final practice before recording. mick wrote the guitar to my weird voice & melodies, causing his fingers to stretch into the hardest shapes to pull it off. i always believed in this song & us, even in the final hour.
dallas has been exhausting. even the process of making the video was impossible. i’m so glad it’s time to move onto the next thing.”
Gouge Away Dallas Lyrics
High as night in the bathroom, fan humming
Drowning out a chance of thought, bare feet stuck
On humid artificial wood, rippled by the moisture
Harboring black mold, weighing on the air
Swaying like there's no ceiling, and like fingertips aren't stuck
Swaying like there's no ceiling, and like fingertips aren't stuck
Swaying like there's no ceiling, and like fingertips aren't stuck
Swaying like there's no ceiling, I feel so
Absent
Absent
Absent
Absent
Knees locked, feel the blood stop reaching toes
Thighs slow to separate from the bone
Strands of hair turn to clumps, matted tile corners
What I'd give to help, to make you understand
Swaying like there's no ceiling, and like fingertips aren't stuck
Swaying like there's no ceiling, and like fingertips aren't stuck
Swaying like there's no ceiling, and like fingertips aren't stuck
Swaying like there's no ceiling, I feel so
Absent
Absent
Absent
Absent
I don't know what you want me to say
You want an explanation but I can barely breathe
Brain's evaporation and I'm just trying to hold on
But I feel so
Absent
Absent
Absent
Absent
Far away from everything
Suddenly learned that dying was the cruelest thing
I could ever do to somebody who would miss me
But I can't stop feeling
Absent
Absent
Absent
Absent
Ooooo ooooo ooooo ooooo
Ooooo ooooo ooooo ooooo
Comments