Haunting Soundscapes and Eerie Atmosphere
Ethel Cain's "Onanist" from her album Perverts is an intense, atmospheric track that confronts the deeply taboo subject of self-gratification with a haunting yet compelling musical backdrop. The song opens with a slow, reverb-drenched piano, immediately setting a somber tone, which is further enhanced by eerie field recordings and subtle effects. The lo-fi production combined with these unsettling elements makes for a track that feels deeply melancholic and at times, almost frightening. The chilling vocal delivery cuts through the soundscape like a ghostly presence, invoking a sense of dread and introspection that lingers well after the song ends.
Themes of Desire, Shame, and Spiritual Conflict
Conceptually, "Onanist" explores themes of shame, desire, and spiritual conflict. It follows the protagonist as they release themselves from societal and religious stigmas surrounding masturbation, surrendering fully to their most private desires. The second half of the song introduces a distorted synth, which mirrors the emotional unraveling taking place in the narrative. This distortion reflects the tension between pleasure and guilt, ultimately creating a cathartic sonic experience that evokes feelings of both euphoria and despair.
The Symbolism of Onanism
The term “Onanist” refers to someone who practices onanism—masturbation or the act of coitus interruptus. In the context of the song and the EP, this term takes on greater significance as Ethel Cain delves into the psychological and spiritual weight of this act. Referencing the biblical figure Onan, the track subtly suggests that self-gratification is seen as a moral failure, a sin against divine commandment. Onan's fate—death and damnation—looms over the song's lyrics and the album's broader narrative, lending it a heavy theological undertone.
Merchandise and Extending the Narrative
Interestingly, this ideology extends beyond the music and is woven into the album's accompanying merchandise, which includes a hoodie with the phrase "Temple Onanist" and a shirt emblazoned with the provocative line "Heaven has forsaken the masturbator." Through these choices, Cain deepens the album’s narrative, positioning self-gratification not just as a moral failure, but as a larger commentary on societal and religious attitudes towards sexual expression. In the world of Perverts, the individual’s desires are constantly at odds with divine expectations.
A Bold Exploration of Sin and Self-Gratification
Ultimately, "Onanist" serves as a bold and unapologetic exploration of self-gratification, sin, and spiritual conflict. Its haunting soundscapes, introspective lyrics, and chilling vocal delivery create a track that is both unnerving and strangely beautiful. Ethel Cain’s ability to tackle such heavy subject matter while maintaining a captivating and immersive sound speaks to her unique artistry, making "Onanist" a standout track in an already provocative body of work.
Listen to Ethel Cain Onanist
Ethel Cain Onanist Lyrics Meaning Explained
The meaning of Onanist by Ethel Cain is rooted in the exploration of self-gratification, religious guilt, and moral conflict. Through haunting lyricism and biblical references, the song delves into the internal struggle between indulging in human desires and adhering to spiritual principles. Drawing on the story of Onan from the Book of Genesis and allusions to Dante’s The Divine Comedy, Cain paints a vivid picture of an individual at a moral crossroads. The track reflects the tension between physical pleasure and spiritual shame, presenting a chilling narrative of one’s surrender to forbidden desires in the face of religious condemnation.
Introduction: Dantean Themes and Spiritual Crisis
Ethel Cain's "Onanist" delves deeply into religious and literary themes, exploring the internal struggle between desire and morality. The opening lines, "There I found me in a long, long wood / Astray, midway of mortal life," directly reference Dante Alighieri’s The Divine Comedy. In the poem, Dante finds himself lost in a dark forest, symbolizing a moment of crisis and confusion in life. Here, the “long, long wood” acts as a metaphor for the individual’s disorientation and moral conflict as they confront their internal temptations. Much like Dante’s journey through the dark woods, the individual in this song is caught at a crossroads, where they must decide whether to remain on a path of virtue or succumb to their darker desires.
Witness to Agony: Reflection on Spiritual Vulnerability
The following lines, "Witness to such agony / But there, before the grace of God go I," capture a moment of self-reflection as the individual observes the agony around them and recognizes their own vulnerability. The phrase "before the grace of God go I" suggests the individual’s awareness that they are not immune to sin and could easily fall into it without divine intervention. This line echoes themes of spiritual fragility, where the individual acknowledges the delicate balance between following religious principles and giving in to human weaknesses. The agony described here may symbolize the internal suffering caused by this moral conflict, as they teeter between adhering to faith and indulging in their desires.
Yearning for Love: The Turn Toward Purgatory
The lyric, "I want to know love / I want to know what it feels like," represents a pivotal moment in the song, where the individual’s yearning for love becomes intertwined with physical pleasure. Rather than seeking divine or spiritual love, the individual turns towards a more carnal form of love—self-gratification. This shift indicates a decisive moment where they choose to abandon the pursuit of heavenly virtues for more immediate, bodily satisfaction. This desire for "love" becomes a metaphor for the individual’s abandonment of religious ideals, choosing instead to embrace a form of love that fulfills their sensual and earthly needs.
The Addictive Nature of Self-Gratification
The repetition of "It feels good / It feels good / It feels good" in the song’s outro highlights the addictive and all-consuming nature of self-gratification. The protagonist has fully surrendered to their desires, and the repeated phrase mimics the rhythm and breath associated with orgasm. This not only reflects the pleasure derived from the act of masturbation but also underscores the powerful hold it has over the individual. Despite the moral guilt and societal stigma attached to the act, the protagonist finds themselves unable to resist the sensation, declaring repeatedly how good it feels.
Onanist Meaning: Pleasure vs. Guilt in a Struggle for Salvation
As the outro continues, the repeated line "It feels good" becomes a larger thematic statement about the internal conflict between physical pleasure and spiritual guilt. The more the phrase is repeated, the more it suggests the individual’s attempt to justify their actions. The climax of physical pleasure stands in contrast to the implied spiritual consequences, as the protagonist continues to indulge in self-gratification despite the understanding that it is regarded as a sin. In Onanist, Ethel Cain offers a haunting portrayal of a person trapped between their desire for pleasure and the weight of religious morality, using biblical references and literary allusions to emphasize the profound struggle between sin and salvation.
Ethel Cain Onanist Lyrics
[Intro]
There I found me in a long, long wood
Astray, midway of mortal life
Witness to such agony
But there, before the grace of God go I
I want to know love
I want to know what it feels like
[Instrumental]
[Outro]
It feels good
It feels good
It feels good
It feels good
It feels good
It feels good
It feels good
It feels good
It feels