Doechii’s Dialogue with Herself
Doechii’s “Denial Is A River” from the album Alligator Bites Never Heal is a bold, creative exploration of emotional processing. The song kicks off with a conversation between Doechii and the voice in her head, setting the tone for a deeply introspective journey. She uses this call-and-response style not just as a storytelling tool, but as a method to grapple with unresolved feelings about a past relationship. The instrumental track serves as a steady, classic backdrop, with a synth that weaves in and out, and a bassline that grounds the song’s weighty subject matter. The instrumentation allows Doechii’s narrative to shine while offering a perfect complement to her nuanced flow.
A Tale of Betrayal and Confusion
Doechii’s verses tell the story of a betrayal, weaving through emotions with her signature impeccable flow. She recounts a relationship from 2019 in which her partner was unfaithful, ultimately cheating on her with someone of the same sex. This revelation, while shocking, is delivered with Doechii’s characteristic confidence and sharp lyricism. The line “Turns out the girl was really a dude?” is delivered with a raw mix of humor and pain, highlighting the complexity of emotions tied to the situation. The title, a clever nod to Wendy Williams’ infamous quote, underscores the theme of denial, adding another layer of meaning to the track.
The Breathwork Section: A Moment of Pause
One of the most striking moments in the song is the breathing exercise section, which reflects Doechii’s impressive vocal control and artistry. This segment feels almost meditative, providing a moment of pause amidst the intensity of her verses. The live performance of this track showcases her ability to switch between rapid-fire lyricism and calm, controlled breathwork, creating an electrifying experience for listeners. It’s a testament to Doechii’s versatility as an artist, effortlessly blending emotional depth with technical precision.
Fame’s Double-Edged Sword
Beyond the narrative of infidelity, “Denial Is A River” explores Doechii’s rise to fame and the personal toll it has taken on her. The second verse delves into the whirlwind of her career, with viral records, TikTok fame, and the overwhelming demands of the music industry leaving her little time to process her emotions. There’s a rawness in her admission of turning to drugs and escapism to cope with the pressures, offering a glimpse into the darker side of success. This vulnerability is a stark contrast to the confident exterior she often presents, making the song feel even more intimate and authentic.
A Cathartic Conclusion
In the end, the song is a cathartic release, blending pain, humor, and self-reflection in a way only Doechii can. The outro, which returns to the breathing exercise, offers a moment of clarity after the chaos, encouraging both Doechii and the listener to take a step back and breathe. It’s a fitting conclusion to a track that grapples with emotional turmoil and the search for inner peace. “Denial Is A River” is a standout track on Alligator Bites Never Heal, showcasing Doechii’s ability to tackle heavy themes with wit, style, and unparalleled artistry.
Listen to Doechii Denial Is A River
Doechii Denial Is A River Lyrics Meaning Explained
The meaning of Denial Is A River by Doechii is a profound exploration of self-deception, emotional turmoil, and personal growth. Through a combination of sharp storytelling and candid reflections, the song delves into Doechii's experiences with betrayal, relationships, fame, and internal struggles. The track is framed as a therapy session, where she confronts the rapid changes in her life, including her rise in the music industry, the pressures of social media, and the fallout from personal relationships. By addressing themes like denial, substance use, and emotional conflict, Doechii highlights the complex interplay between success and vulnerability, while maintaining a raw, conversational tone that resonates deeply with listeners.
Introduction and Opening Conversation
"What's up, Doechii? Hey, girl" is a clever nod to Wendy Williams' famous quote, "Denial is a river in Egypt, your husband is gay!" In this opening, Doechii references a boyfriend who cheated on her with a man. The conversational tone resembles someone recounting a story on a talk show, much like how Wendy Williams’ guests would share their personal stories. This introduction sets the stage for a deeply personal conversation, almost as if Doechii is addressing a radio host or therapist.
Reflection on Past Work and Growth
In "You know it's been a lil' minute since you and I have had a chat", Doechii is speaking to an alter-ego that acts as a therapist throughout the song, giving the track a self-reflective feel. The reference to her 2020 EP in "Probably since, like, your last EP, Oh The Places You'll Go" acknowledges her past work and how much time has passed since then, emphasizing her growth and experiences since the release. The EP, which includes the track "Yucky Blucky Fruitcake," is a significant part of her journey.
Betrayal and Social Media Revelation
"Did me dirtier than laundry" refers to her ex cheating on her. Here, Doechii juxtaposes the concept of being "clean" with how her ex treated her poorly, emphasizing the betrayal. Moving forward, she describes her investigation into his social media: "Took a scroll through his IG, just to get a DM from his wifey (What the fuck?)." At this point, she becomes confused by the situation, especially when it turns out that the person messaging her was not another woman but actually a man. In "Turns out the girl was really a dude? (Goddamn)," she realizes that her ex was cheating on her with a man, highlighting a significant moment of revelation in her life.
Clarifying Misunderstandings
This line led to some misunderstandings, as some listeners thought it was a commentary on transgender women. However, Doechii clarified that this is not the case. She’s simply recounting a personal experience where she discovered her ex’s secret relationship with another man. In interviews, she addressed the misconception, explaining that the profile she saw wasn't a woman’s, but rather a man's, catching her off guard. The confusion surrounding the name "Sue" in the lyric "She didn't know about me and I didn't know 'bout Sue" also sparked speculation, with some thinking it was a reference to Shel Silverstein's "A Boy Named Sue," though Doechii explained it was just slang.
Career Success and Fast-Paced Change
After this revelation, Doechii quickly moved on from the relationship: "And then I went and got signed, now it's 2021." This line marks a shift in her career, as 2021 was the year she signed with TDE (Top Dawg Entertainment) and Capitol Records. This move, while celebratory, also ties into the overall theme of fast-paced change. In "I'm movin' so fast, no time to process," Doechii reveals that everything in her life, from learning about her ex’s sexuality to her rising stardom, is happening at such a rapid pace that she has little time to fully process it all. This theme of rushing through life without reflection also mirrors her personal and artistic processes.
Industry Pressures and Struggles with Authenticity
"And no, I'm not in a gang but I'm always on set (Yeah)" clarifies that although Doechii is often in spaces where media is filmed, she is not gang-affiliated. The subsequent lines, "Wrist watch, drip drop, label want the TikToks, now I'm makin' TikTok music, what the fuck?" express her frustration with the music industry's pressure to make TikTok-viral content. Doechii is well-known for tracks like "Crazy," "Persuasive," and "What It Is," which gained popularity on the platform, but this acknowledgment of being directed to make music with social media in mind hints at her struggle with authenticity in the face of commercial success.
Success with Underlying Emotional Turbulence
Despite the pressures of fame, Doechii reflects on her success: "Fast forward, me 2023, I'm stackin' lots of cheese and makin' money, my grass is really green." This line alludes to the success of her 2023 hit "What It Is," which peaked on Billboard charts and became an omnipresent track across various platforms. However, the line "Honestly, I can't even fucking cap no more, this is a really dark time for me, I'm goin' through a lot" marks a shift in tone. Here, Doechii opens up about her struggles, hinting at a deeper emotional battle beneath her success. The dialogue about drugs that follows underscores her state of denial, cleverly playing on the album’s theme, Denial Is a River.
Denial and Substance Use
In the exchange: "By a lot, you mean drugs? / Um, I wouldn't— / Drugs?", Doechii denies being an addict but admits to using marijuana, emphasizing her internal conflict with substances. This denial also ties back into the title, Denial Is a River, as she avoids confronting the reality of her situation. Further complicating things, she admits, "I mean, fuck, I like pills, I like drugs, I like gettin' money, I like strippers, I like to fuck." Here, she openly discusses the indulgent Hollywood lifestyle, from drugs to sex, but acknowledges that this has led to her self-worth being at an all-time low.
Emotional Destruction and 2Pac Reference
The line "My ex crashed my place and destroyed all I owned (Damn)" marks a pivotal moment of chaos in her life, symbolizing a deeper sense of emotional destruction. This turmoil is followed by the line, "I ain't a killer but don't push me," a famous reference to 2Pac's "Hail Mary." The use of this lyric suggests that while Doechii may not be inherently violent, she is close to her breaking point.
Attempt at Regaining Control and Conclusion
In the song’s conclusion, Doechii attempts to regain control. The therapist’s suggestion, "So, we're gonna try a breathing exercise, okay?", indicates an effort to center herself amidst the chaos. The rhythmic breathing that follows, inspired by Doug E. Fresh’s beatboxing, introduces an element of self-regulation. The track closes with "woosah," a final breath of relief before transitioning into the next song, Catfish.
Doechii Denial Is A River Meaning
Through these lyrics, Doechii navigates themes of betrayal, fame, self-discovery, and emotional turbulence. Her conversational tone, mixed with raw vulnerability, offers a glimpse into the complexities of her personal and professional life, while the clever wordplay and pop culture references keep the song grounded in her unique storytelling style.
Doechii Denial Is A River Lyrics
[Intro]
Hey, I thought it was all over
What's up, Doechii?
Hey, girl
You know it's been a lil' minute since you and I have had a chat
Has it really?
Probably since, like, your last EP, Oh The Places You'll Go
Oh, wow, it's been a minute (Yeah)
I've been gettin' some calls
Oh?
People are a little bit worried about you
Not worried, okay
And I know that I was kinda that outlet for you, so
You were
Why don't you just tell me what's been goin' on?
Okay
[Verse 1]
Remember old dude from 2019?
Nice clean nigga, did me dirtier than laundry (Than laundry)
Took a scroll through his IG
Just to get a DM from his wifey (What the fuck?)
I was so confused, what should Doechii do?
She didn't know about me and I didn't know 'bout Sue
I open up the messages and had to hit the zoom
Turns out the girl was really a dude? (Goddamn)
Nigga think he slicked back 'til I slipped back
Got my lick back, turned a nigga to a knick-knack (To a knick-knack)
I moved on, dropped a couple of songs
And then I went and got signed, now it's 2021
[Interlude]
Okay, I just feel like this is the perfect opportunity for us to just
Take a second and kind off unpack what's happened to you
You know, this guy cheated on you and—
Mm, nah, fuck it
Ow
[Verse 2]
"Platinum" record this, viral record that (That)
I'm makin' so much money, I'm all over the net
I'm movin' so fast, no time to process
And no, I'm not in a gang but I'm always on set (Yeah)
Wrist watch, drip drop, label want the TikToks
Now I'm makin' TikTok music, what the fuck?
I need a cleanse, need a detox
But we ain't got time to stop, the charts need us (And they do)
Fast forward, me 2023
I'm stackin' lots of cheese and makin' money
My grass is really green, and
[Interlude]
Honestly, I can't even fucking cap no more
This is a really dark time for me
I'm goin' through a lot
By a lot, you mean drugs?
Um, I wouldn't—
Drugs?
No, it's a—
No?
It's a natural plant
No, I'm not judging
I'm not an addict
I'm just sayin'
I don't think—
You wanna talk about it?
Uh
[Verse 3]
I mean, fuck, I like pills, I like drugs
I like gettin' money, I like strippers, I like to fuck
I like day-drinkin' and day parties in Hollywood
I like doin' Hollywood shit, snort it, probably would
What can I say? The shit works, it feels good
And my self-worth's at an all-time low
And just when it couldn't get worse
My ex crashed my place and destroyed all I owned (Damn)
Whoopsie, made a oopsie
One-hundred thousand dollar "oops" made me loopy
I ain't a killer but don't push me
Don't wanna have to turn a nigga guts into soup beans
[Outro]
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah (Rurr), okay, Doechii
We don't wanna revert back into our old ways
Sorry, okay
So, we're gonna try a breathing exercise, okay?
Alright, word
When I breathe, you breathe
Okay
Alright? Let's go
Uh-uh-uh, uh-uh-ah
Uh, uh, uh, ah
Uh, uh, uh, uh, ah
Uh, uh, uh, uh, woosah